Feel like a Fake?
Have you ever looked around at your life — your job, your relationships, your accomplishments — and had this nagging feeling that you don’t really belong? That at any moment, someone might figure out you’re not as capable or deserving as everyone thinks you are?
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Feeling like a fake, or what many call imposter syndrome, is incredibly common. In fact, most people will experience it at some point in their lives — even the ones who seem the most confident and successful on the outside.
What Does It Feel Like to Feel Like a Fake?
Imposter syndrome can show up in different ways. You might feel like you’re just lucky, not actually skilled. Maybe you believe your success is because of timing or because people were just being nice — not because you earned it. Or maybe you brush off your accomplishments, thinking, “If I can do it, anyone can.”
Related: Do you have imposter syndrome?
The tricky part is that no matter how much you’ve achieved, those thoughts don’t just go away. They linger in the background, whispering, You’re fooling everyone.
Why Do We Feel This Way?
A lot of factors can contribute to feeling like a fake. Maybe you grew up in a family where achievements were highly valued, and you learned that your worth was tied to what you accomplished. Or maybe you’re in a career where there isn’t always a clear roadmap, and you’re figuring things out as you go.
Social media doesn’t help either — it’s easy to look at someone’s carefully curated highlight reel and assume everyone else has it all figured out while you’re just making it up as you go.
The Problem with Believing You’re a Fake
Here’s the thing: feeling like a fake isn’t just uncomfortable — it can actually get in your way. When you’re convinced you’re not good enough, you might work harder to prove yourself, pushing yourself toward burnout. Or you might hold yourself back from new opportunities because you’re afraid of being exposed.
The truth is, you’re probably not giving yourself nearly enough credit.
What Can You Do About It?
If you’re reading this and nodding along, know that you’re not alone — and you don’t have to stay stuck in this pattern. Here are a few steps you can take:
1. Name It
The first step is recognizing what’s happening. When those “I’m a fake” thoughts pop up, call them out. Say to yourself, Oh, that’s imposter syndrome talking. Just naming it can take away some of its power.
2. Check the Evidence
Our brains are really good at finding evidence to support what we already believe. If you’re convinced you’re not good enough, you’ll probably focus on every little mistake or moment of doubt.
Try flipping the script. Write down your wins — big and small. Did you nail that presentation? Did a client thank you for your help? Did you show up for a friend even when you were struggling yourself? Those moments count. These are skills you might learn as part of Chicago Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
3. Talk About It
One of the best ways to break the cycle of feeling like a fake is to talk about it. Chances are, the people you admire have felt the same way at some point. Opening up about your struggles can remind you that you’re not alone — and that no one actually has it all figured out.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Be a Work in Progress
You don’t have to know everything right now. No one does. Instead of waiting to feel 100% ready or qualified, try giving yourself permission to learn as you go. Growth happens in the messy middle — not once you’ve got everything figured out.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Would you ever call a friend a fraud because they were nervous about a new job or doubting their abilities? Probably not. Try offering yourself the same kindness and compassion you would offer someone you care about.
When to Reach Out for Support
If imposter syndrome is making it hard to enjoy your accomplishments or keeping you stuck in self-doubt, talking to a therapist can help. Therapy isn’t about fixing you — it’s about helping you see yourself more clearly and giving you tools to quiet that inner critic.
Feeling like a fake doesn’t mean you are one. It means you’re human, navigating the messy, complicated experience of being alive — and you’re doing better than you think.
If you’re ready to start unpacking these feelings and learning how to trust yourself more, reach out to a mental health professional. You deserve to feel at home in your own life.